Today I was fluffing around the Christmas tree when I looked up & caught my reflection in one of the baubles on the tree. There I was, slightly flabby belly where a taut round one should be. Thinking about how I should be standing around rubbing my belly when the girls & I talk about all the Christmas excitement. I stopped for a moment with my hand on my belly & cried alone, quietly, for a little while, thinking about what should have been, thinking about my Little Frenchy. And then I stopped, wiped away the tears & got on with it. There is not a day that goes by where I do not think about my little baby, where I don't shed a few tears, but I'm doing alright, I think. Some days are easier than others, but I can keep going. I look at my girls & take heart at what I have - two beautiful, smart, funny, stubborn, mostly gentle, generous, empathetic sometimes naughty but ultimately good little girls. My Little Frenchy will always be the little angel on our Christmas tree.
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